We Were Poor, And Now

....'Oooo you live on the rich side of town' 'You think you are better than me/him/her because you are rich'...

I feel like I'm in constant defense mode about where I live...and feeling like I should apologize to the people who say these things to me. Then I kind of feel disheartened that they see me that way. Then I feel apologetic again...like I've somehow betrayed them...Then I feel embarrassed.

I mean we were American Poor for many~ many~many years. (Not 3rd world poor or out on the streets...so our struggles were still minimal by comparison) And now we're just semi-poor...and I start singing...Movin on up...to the southwest side...Oh...I mean... to the east side, to a deluxe apartment in the sky..hy..hy...or no wait...it's a house, in a small town, on the southwest side. I loved that show...but no I don't have a housekeeper...I do have a yard that I never clean though...but that doesn't apply...

Anyone who knows me, knows the struggles that I've come through....I was very poor, and tirelessly doing what I could just to make ends meet on any given day much less any given pay period. We were poor, not just me but we...We were poor....in spirit and in finances. It was a lot, a lot, a lot of work to climb out of the pit of a life I voluntarily jumped into! I mean somebody didn't just show up and go, 'Hey you! You're so awesome girl. Here, let me just give you this house, and this vehicle, and this job!' Yeah no....I researched, I worked, I figured it out BUT only by the Grace of God was any of it granted.

If there is one thing my parent's taught me, that saved me from myself most days it was that nobody could bring me out of my bottom but me! They loved me, but they definitely didn't carry me through my struggles because they knew that there would come a day when they wouldn't be there to do it for me. They were honest, real, and steady, and when it was no....well it was no. 

And then....dun dun dun...it occurs to me. Why am I apologizing for where I am? Why are these people talking to me like where I live and the things I have somehow offends them? And why oh why are they saying these things when I've tried to help them, and when I've welcomed them into my life with no strings attached or expectations to be had?

I walked every single strenuous step of my life story...and if they only knew just how crazy that walk got sometimes, they wouldn't be treating me like that, and they wouldn't want anything to do with what they think I have!

I don't by any means think the simple answer is discrimination or envy. I think maybe it's because what this/my life represents is a true conquering of suppression. A theatrical defeat of the idea of poverty of spirit. See, I don't have endless money, or a huge savings account, and I don't have things that would be considered expensive in this world.

What do I have? A deep seated and true joy, despite what I've experienced, and despite the dumb decisions I've made in my past. A yearning to find peace in my spirit  by seeking out Jesus on a level that shows everybody...both individually and collectively that no matter what you've done in your past...He loves you and his blessings abound if you will just open your eyes and see his truth.

Here's my truth....I am soooo noooot worldly rich by any means, my home is modest, and I've been oh so blessed~undeservedly~by God...but I am far from where I used to be...and I have a really awesome life story behind it all that should be a testimony to those who are struggling!

So, the next time somebody looks down their nose at me in disgust, and says 'Oh!, you live on the rich side of town!' I'm going to say....Why yes! I do! It's a home rich in the love of Jesus...he gave it to me, even though I didn't deserve it...and if you ever want to know why I know that...well...have a seat, I'll pour you a cup o' joe, and oooohhh...

Because........

But for the Grace of God go I.....