What About Me?

Everyone ~ok not everyone~ but some people ~ok well people I know~ ~ok...well me~I mean I~
I sometimes get the What About Me's in my relationship.....

I observe that people in general are self absorbed beings and it seems like we tend to think of our own needs first and foremost. It can be deadly to any kind of relationship.

I know of only one person in my life who I believe, if they have this ailment, is really really good at hiding it.


So when some old timer tells you young whipper snappers that relationships are hard work, and that they had to walk 10 miles in the snow uphill to get to school...they aren't lying! Every waking minute in a relationship should be spent thinking about your partners needs...OK not every minute but a lot of the minutes...and it has to be both partners playing this same game otherwise somebody's going to get pooped out....

I absolutely love the example Joyce Meyer gives of the 'What About Me..isms' It's comical to watch, but if anyone has ever had to deal with this behavior, it is anything but funny when it's happening. If you have ever had anyone in your life that walks around acting like the world revolves around them, you understand the 'What About Me's' very very well, and how to spot it in others. It is really hard to be around those kind of people for any amount of time. It's funny how it's not so easy to see it in ourselves though.

Our current society is built on this selfish principle. It permeates our career world, trickles right into our homes and effects our very intimate relationships. It is truly a dangerous sickness. A sickness that divorce has been chosen to be the magic cure for.

I think everybody goes through feeling this way in their lifetime, but it is your ability to recognize that negative and selfish thinking, and choosing to walk away from it inside your very soul that will determine whether you become the Joyce Meyer robot or whether you become a real cherished part of someone's life. 

Now, I'm not saying for you to allow your spouse, kids, or boss to trample all over you and be a slave to their needs and desires. I'm saying you have to observe, and then know other's needs and desires, balance them and determine whether they are detrimental to you and move forward. For example, if your spouse wants you to help him/her rob a bank because they need more money well of course it's not selfish for you to say 'Umm no, I don't think so Jack!' or Jim or whatever his name may be. But if it makes him feel appreciated for you to get up early with him and help him get ready for work, or make him a warm breakfast, or give him a little something to smile about for the rest of the day (wink wink)....then by all means DO IT, and squelch the 'What About Me's'

Just step out of yourself for a moment. Stop making your life revolve around your hobby or sport, and give up some of your time to dedicate to what your partner enjoys. A relationship has to be more about giving than receiving for both individuals for it to be a great one. 

Have you ever gotten up in the morning with your whole day planned out to a perfect T...and then (DUNDUNDUN) with each passing minute your plan starts crumbling, your stressometer starts rising, and your attitude is the stinkiest thing since stinky feet cheese? And you end up taking it out on your significant other, get in a huge fight, and all of the sudden somebody's sleeping on the couch (not me by the way), and you just despise the person you promised to cherish and love with kissy kisses till you die? That, my friend is a case of the 'What About Me's'.....The only way to conquer that demon is to wake up and realize that you have a plan, but it may not work out, and if it doesn't, if you in fact don't get it your way then it's ok...the sun and moon will still rise, and you still have a partner to cherish, so get out of yourself and do something nice for them....Men that doesn't mean watch 20hrs of sports, and women that doesn't mean shopping at the mall. It means a romantic dinner, cuddling, being intimate, talking (not my first choice) fishing, a back rub for him, or flowers for her. Stop thinking about yourself and start thinking of and observing your partner, and the 'What About Me's' shall be healed from your heart and soul. 

 
P.S. If while observing her you see a booger hanging out....don't I repeat DON'T point and laugh. It will totally kill the longing stare moment. Smile, get a tissue, and gently tell her she has something by her nose. 

Besides that will just make for one of those comically special moments you will treasure forever!...