Melding

The free dictionary defines Meld as:
meld ²  (mld)

v. meld·ed, meld·ing, melds

v.tr.

To cause to merge: "a professional position that seemed to meld all his training" (Art Jahnke).

v.intr.

To become merged.

n.

A blend or merger: "a meld of diverse ethnic stocks" (Kenneth L. Woodward).

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[Perhaps blend of melt and weld.]

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/melding

Melding into each other as a couple. It's hardly an easy task for couples in today's society. I see example after example of women Melding into their partners. They start loving the same football team, find interest in sports altogether, or they participate in all his favorite hobbies. And they do it willingly and lovingly, Most women I talk to truly enjoy these new found adventures with their partner. They actually end up very knowledgeable about whatever they've been led into. The goal being, at my best guess, to be best friends. What I wonder is how you meld but maintain some semblance of individuality...basically how do I stay me while I follow him/her. 

In my experience, men aren't as willing to meld as women are. As a matter of fact, if you read anything about bachelors like George Clooney, they are completely unwilling to let go of that autonomy on any level. Why? Because autonomy is safe,  simple, and clean. It's safe not to rely, count on, or need someone else and it's simple not to have someone require those things from you too. And there is nobody elses life clutter to dirty your world. 

When someone becomes a part of your persona or 'Half Your Life' as the song goes, you are taking a huge emotional and unpredictable risk! You don't have total control over Relationship Melding, and men like calculated risk...something measurable. Annd they also like that they can burp, fart, and use the bathroom with the door open whenever they want to when they are single. At least I've heard those are in the top ten of most enjoyable things a single man can do when he's alone that he wouldn't be allowed to do if he had a partner. Not that any single woman would admit to it, but those are in their top ten during their alone time too...after being prim and proper and sucking in your gut all day...burping, farting and using the bathroom with the door open can be a true source of liberation...:)

I don't think you can hold onto or 'stay you' totally when melding. I mean the whole point of it, as I see it, is that the strong parts of each of you 'bond' together to form a strong unified product and it's a constant changing and growing process. Giving and taking and seeking out adventures together. Somewhere in our self centered society it became a bad thing to rely on others, to trust, ahhh to meld. We lost our ability to allow others in and we see couples avoiding and struggling to stay completely independent while in a relationship...poor women chasing that ever elusive Mr. Clooney. 

We need to change our idea of what melding is. It should be a source of freedom to be able to rely on someone, liberating to know you can be totally you and to watch your partner be totally and honestly them. It isn't the prison people make it out to be.  

More men need to be willing to show interest in her interests. Help her dye her hair...she can be nakey while you do it...or cook with her (she needs to have at least an apron on for that one) or find out whatever it is she likes for her and do that with her...without complaining or moping. Well except for shopping...I dread that one too! 

One of my friends once said 'Well you know, men are just men, we will always want to conquer what we can't have' So if that's true, just know this men out there...melding is a constant process.. You will never have all of her and she will never have all of you...longevity, commitment, and melding is about constant change and growth....so go conquer that.