Daddy

I was trying to think of what I could say about relationships in relation to God, the Bible, and Christianity. And although, I could regurgitate a bunch of what I think I've learned, I know that wouldn't help me if I really really needed help. And believe me...I need help even knowing what I know. Because after all, knowing and doing are two completely different things.

Growing up, I was taught that God was a man, and not ever being taught to crack open a Bible, I automatically equated God/Jesus/Holy Spirit to men of this world. Although I knew that God was 'better' so to speak...I still imagined him or personified him by what I knew of men. My Dad, Catholic Priests, Grandpo, Uncles, Brother, then later Boyfriends(not a sane comparison). It was a mish mash of identity confusion. I just wonder how many other women out there struggle with this.

Because I had difficulty with male relationships, I think I built a barrier to God. Thinking that he would reject me, punish me or abuse me like the worldly men. But
then there was the 'good' men in my life so I was confused. Confused about how to identify with him....his personality...his ways of making decisions....his plan for me.

I knew what I read of God/Jesus, and I believed that I saw him working in other peoples relationships but not mine...not for me...I couldn't figure out who I was supposed to be. Throw in the fact that I got pregnant at 14...then spent the next many many many years  being the parent...struggling with being both the Mom and Dad...now THAT is an identity crisis right there! I don't know how to be a Dad, and I think I failed miserably at it...and I wasted a lot of Mom talent and time.

I've decided after much reading, learning, and listening that God/Jesus is like a Daddy....the man who's lap you can sit on when you're scared, the man who isn't harsh with you or demeaning, the man who is supportive, loving, and soft hearted toward you. He doesn't scold you for hurting...he comforts you. He's the guy that even if you do something wrong, he doesn't make you feel worthless, he instead loves on you more to lead you on a different path. He's the guy that pays attention to you and your needs, and deepest desires....he shows you love rather than just saying he loves you.

Ladies, if you find a man that can put aside worldly definitions of what a man is and mimics who God is towards you....he's a keeper...

But what if you are faced with your partner being harsh, abusive, demeaning, cold? What if the God behavior I just described is your partner only 20% of the time or just 10%? And how do you get your partner to see, feel and taste your definition of God? I know it, but how do I do it?

My answer....quite trying....yeah I know...you said Wha?!!!!

Quite trying to get your partner to see....Your only job is to know who God is to you....and be happy with your worth in him. If you need to acknowledge bad behavior...do it, but then move on, and mimic the love, patience, and kindness that God gives to you...

It's not easy when you are in the middle of a heated discussion, and you wish you could hit him over the head with a frying pan and knock some sense into his stubborn, proudful noggin, but if you just keep God's word, and love in your daily routine...your partner should come around, or he might think you're crazy and plotting his death with each nice thing you do! And if he doesn't come around, I guarantee, God will deal with him AND God will get you through....no frying pan needed!