Sometimes she doesn't feel confident or she's not feeling emotionally strong, or she's just dog-tired ~so to speak~ and needs someone to hug her and tell her it's ok...or just hug her and don't say anything (Being a woman of few spoken words, this one works just fine for me)
There doesn't need to be a 'next step' from cuddling if you know what I mean. There can be, but for her, when she is feeling that way ~there should be no pressure or guilt placed on her....respect her boundaries.
Sometimes I tell my hunny, 'You're in my bubble'...and
his immediate response is 'But, it's me! I'm a part of your bubble!' And he is partially right....he is a part of my bubble! There is no one else I'd rather have in my bubble than him, but sometimes I just need for him to go to the other side of that bubble for a minute and let me gather myself.
It doesn't help that I've had an abusive background....it makes me more distant than what is probably considered normal sometimes. At least I think so. It's important to me, not just as a survivor, but as a woman, to feel that we can have intimate moments that are solely about feeling close to each other, but not always about climbing that mountain so to speak.
Just cuddling makes a woman somehow feel valued and not used, respected and not conquered, cared for and not subjected. Especially if they have been a victim.
I know most men wouldn't admit it, but they enjoy cuddling just as much as women do. It doesn't make you any less manly so admit it already! God created man and woman to need intimate human touch outside of the mountain climbing!
I know, I know, you are geared to conquer mountains, go on adventures and accomplish, accomplish, accomplish. Somewhere in history, society as a whole accepted the idea that women were to be conquered by men. Maybe it's backlash from Adam and Eve, and him following her to the apple instead of leading her away from it. Men's adventurous spirit is a gift from God, but not to be used to 'conquer' the spirit of a woman. I've seen and been a part of relationships that held the idea that women were somehow 'not valid, valued humans'~that women should do what they are told. (yeah even writing that, I'm making the crooked lip raised eyebrow face) And for the record, those relationships were miserable failures. But on the flip side of that coin, I've also seen relationships where women rule the roost and it's not a pretty sight...you know the kind~whatever Momma says goes...if she's yelling everyone cowers, if she wants that diamond, Daddy gets it for her NOOOWWW.
Balance-we've lost balance. Climbing the mountain requires a lot of preparation, and so it should be...it's an important endeavor....it's about so much more than getting to the top. It's about the steps....every time you cuddle 'without expectation' you are taking steps and with each step your wife is feeling freer and freer to be herself...and as she becomes freer in her spirit...she becomes bolder in meeting your needs, your desires, and ultimately feeling beautiful~not physically but spiritually....and when that happens you will be one happy man...because better than any adventure you have ever been on alone or with your buddies, this adventure to find her beauty will produce the sweetest reward.
So......
CUDDLE~OFTEN~AND WITHOUT EXPECTATION!
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