Betrayal

I saw so many different opinions on this video on Facebook today. Everything from 'He should have slapped her < both women and men said this> to 'She's obviously crazy, the poor thing she has mental issues' <mostly older women said the poor thing part, and all men said she's obviously crazy, and praised him for recording her and putting it on Facebook>>>>>>>

  Yeah that was my response too...

 Speaking like the true 'Crazy Lady' I am....I'm going to school you opinionated non knowers(so to speak) about the intricacies of trust, intimacy, and judgment real quick.



Last week I wrote a post called "Comedy" and talked specifically about covering the sins of those we love and about basking in their imperfections...read it and re-read it, and then maybe you'll get what the word love means in every relationship whether it be marriage, family, or friendship. I can't take credit for this revelation because frankly I'm just not that smart...I learned it the hard way...trial and error and then finally when I stiilll wasn't getting it God sent me my Sister. She personifies the example of love towards others sins>my sins included....She has loved me no matter what...no judgement...no lectures...no punishment...just loved me through abusive relationships, through depression, through sin...through all of it, she loved me and spoke words of life to me. She reminded me that any of my bad behavior or wrong decision making/my sin didn't define who I was-I was allowing it to mask who I was meant to be.

The video of this couple clearly and simply shows a couple of things...Neither one of them are adhering to their marriage vows, and neither one of them are truly loving each other right then...he is accusing her of  playing the blame game on Facebook and social media as he betrays a very private moment with a camera then threatening to show it to everyone<which obviously he did> This behavior is one we know so well in today's society...it's called being bullies and destroying each others characters to others...And people loooovvee to watch it...it's become our new comedy...I mean just look at the shows people love to watch...'Bad Girls Club' and 'Mob Wives'...it's all about bullying and public humiliation.

This couple is betraying their relationships and ultimately their own souls!

I'm utterly floored that so many people didn't even get that basic concept about relationships, and at their responses of how they would selfishly handle this situation if it was them in that relationship <as if they could even dare put themselves in that couples shoes>

See now people...that's the whole thing....Everybody, and I do mean everybody, including me, likes to give advice about what they would do...but the difference between The Crazy Lady and most others is that I'm going to tell you what I did and and my opinion is based on my experience...I'm not going to give you advice about something I've never experienced.

Clearly she is having a melt down...clearly he is escalating that meltdown...clearly...clearly...clearly they are both not being loving to each other and they are ruining their relationship by not adhering to the basic rules of any and all relationships...

BASIC RULES:

BE DEVOTED TO EACH OTHER

DO NOT BETRAY EACH OTHER

IT'S YOU 2 AGAINST THE WORLD SO GO

CONQUER IT TOGETHER DON'T LET IT CONQUER YOU

LOVE YOUR SPOUSE MORE THAN YOU LOVE YOURSELF 

AND SHOW IT BY HUMBLING YOUR PRIDE

I was so mad when I watched this. Mad because he recorded her and mad because that's been done to me during an argument...the person that was supposed to love me was recording 'only my responses in an argument' to have 'evidence'...For What? I Ask?...for humiliation?...to prove to everyone that I am the weak one?...I am a crazy person who gets angry?....How could I ever trust this person with my weakest moments ever again? He didn't catch me when I was falling...he pushed me over the cliff instead.... 

We can't possibly know what was going on before or what she's been through or what he's been through or what drove either of them to that point..But if he felt the need to record someone he vowed to love honor and cherish in order to protect his image to 'other' people on Facebook or to family, friends and coworkers...and if she was in fact posting 'awful things specifically about him on Facebook' thheeennn....there must  have been an awful lot that drove them to this point!

What they should have been talking about is...why either would ever feel the need to 'protect other people's view of their individual image over their marriage...Come on people...if you are saving yourself no matter what the circumstance...then you totally don't get the concept of marriage, or friendship, or family...I'm not saying to lie about a hardship..I'm saying to bash the people you are in relationship with. If you are complaining about your spouse/friend/family to/on Facebook...YOU ARE WRONG

Now before everybody jumps down my throat! 

Yes everybody vents on Facebook, and venting is healthy on a certain level...

  Let's say you generalize how you are feeling...mad/sad etc....or you are posting memes like:

 
I think this is fine because specifically nobody knows who you are talking about or if you just like the saying if they don't know the details of your intricate life. Posting how you feel isn't the problem, demonizing your significant other however is! If you are venting to a trusted friend who can listen and not judge and be supportive and be honest with you, that's awesome BUT ultimately you need to go back to your spouse and resolve it, forgive, and move forward...

Intimacy starts with good and satisfying communication- not just with words but through actions. If you don't have communication, you can't build trust and without trust you definitely don't have intimacy...you might be having sex...you might have a document that says you're married but you don't have intimacy....

When you don't communicate with your spouse and you instead choose to let others influence what you are going to think and do in your marriage you aren't resolving or working on anything but your own image. Stop satisfying a fleshly desire to be accepted by others, and seeking approval of others!
You are betraying your marriage! You made a commitment SO suck it up, say you're sorry, and be willing to work it out and listen people! Listen more than you talk...

And no matter how funny you think it is when someone is having a meltdown, don't laugh and be condescending or judge their behavior...they are obviously in emotional pain, and irregardless if it's self perpetuated or not...your response should be compassion and resolution not punishment, humiliation and judgement.

Judgement will crush your relationship faster than Tammy Wynette could sing D-I-V-O-R-C-E!

God please help society to understand that crazy is normal...

When we are pushed to the brink aka being trampled by evil....this video is what it looks like...

Our emotions are normal...

Thinking outside the societies selfish behavior box is normal...

Getting upset is normal....

FORGIVING IS NORMAL

PROTECTING YOUR SPOUSE IS NORMAL

LOVING SOMEONE THROUGH THEIR HARD TIMES IS NORMAL

Save your relationship...

LOVE THEM THROUGH THEIR FAILURE BECAUSE 

THEY ARE HUMAN JUST LIKE YOU AND THEY WILL FAIL JUST LIKE YOU

MOST IMPORTANTLY BECAUSE JESUS SAID 

John 8:7

"He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.".

Peace Out..Your's Truly,

The Crazy Lady

P.S. for those of you wondering-yes I've had meltdowns-I don't know how they rate compared to this video but I would assume if you asked the 'other' person...they might say um......

yeah honestly I don't know what they'd say...